My newly diagnosed autistic partner told me her therapist said, I quote:

“The world needs to change to accommodate your (mental health) needs, not the other way around.”

Example given: Asking your boss for low intensity light bulbs, or a separate office to accommodate your anxiety.

Three Reasons this is Dangerous Advice

  1. It’s Wrong: This advice is flat wrong. It crumbles against reality & fails stress tests.
  2. It’s Naive: Asking the world to change for you, deserved or not, is a quick route to failure, disappointment & pissing employers off… aka getting fired. People have been canned for far less.
  3. It’s Harmful: Your new light bulbs & lush office undermine everyone else in the group. If we accommodate every niche need, when & where does it stop? How do we prioritize these needs? Madness ensues… aka Tragedy of the Commons

Managing Team Moral When Woke

Valuable office space is hard to come by. It’s also earned. Some spend 10 years in the trenches waiting for an office while you waltz in twirling canes by special request? Nay. Team moral obliterates among many other dangers & oversights woke mentalities like this promote.

Being picky & difficult is a quick route to losing jobs. We all have things we can’t tolerate at work. Like work itself.

Haphazard Therapy Advice Strikes Again

This is exactly the kind of haphazard detrimental therapy advice that can cause huge life altering repercussions short & long term.

Meanwhile, where is this therapist when you’re out of work unable to pay rent after requesting your special office? Gone.

And if the therapist did misguide you, what are their repercussions when advice fails? None.

Self-Assessing Industry Vacuums

No one is ever in these therapy rooms to argue against haphazard therapy advice. Just isolated vacuums self-assessed.

Patient feels validated and leaves happy. Confirmation bias ensues.

This nonsense goes on all day in therapy. I only happened to hear this advice as she shared it leisurely over dinner. Imagine all the tragic life-advice we don’t hear about, while people’s entire professional expectations mountain-shift.

And so it all drifts dangerously unhindered. My partner now feels validated in her desires to ask the world to change for her, even expects it.

When Bad Advice Fails

When the world refuses? The therapist never mentioned that part. Conveniently left the whole thing at “should”.

For the record, “should” is a word some cultures don’t even have vocabulary for. Because it doesn’t exist.

In a perfect world, sure we’d all be accommodated. But the reality is stark: life isn’t fair. Good luck trying to make it fair.

Lack of Accountability in Mental Health Services

Wow. Mental health services strike again. Zero repercussions. Just another life altering tidbit on a grumpy Monday afternoon.

This isn’t funny or cute. These are really bad precedents being preached in passing, a coin I’ve phrased: “hipshot therapy”.

And there’s nothing we can do except avoid the advice entirely.

From the CK Glossary


Confirmation bias: the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or values.

Hip Shot Therapy: (slang) The tendency for mental health professionals to provide life-altering advice haphazardly in passing, with little aim or regard for the repercussions this advice can bring a patient or patient family short and long term. Includes psychiatrists, doctors (MDs), and therapists.

Tragedy of the Commons: A metaphor that refers to a situation in which individuals with access to a public resource (also called a common) act in their own interest and, in doing so, ultimately deplete the resource.

Woke: (a) Aware of and actively attentive to important societal facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice); the belief there are systemic injustices in American society and the need to address them (Merriam-Webster; DeSantis); often an overcompensatory attitude of entitlement accompanies wokeism.


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