(1 min read) Bipolar can be many things. But one of its key components is its cyclical nature. Aka “mood swings”.

Trying to self medicate cyclical madness is common pre (and post) diagnosis. While I quit drinking 10+ years before being diagnosed, how I drank was a clear indicator of bipolar looking back. One I was self aware of but simply wasn’t ready to quit drinking, so avoided proper assessment.

Specifically, my tendency to problem drink cyclically represented my emotional roller coaster doing the same internally (symptomatic). I would have weeks sober and living great, only to suddenly find myself in a 4 day bender backstreet manic chasing dragons again. Then addiction would stick me in that chicken-or-egg limbo everyone loses. You could graph the correlation.

It wasn’t the booze I loved so much as using the booze to treat my unacknowledged symptoms, long before realizing they were even symptoms. I wanted relief at any cost.

Mental illness never excuses problematic substance abuse, but a little honesty and some good old fashioned observation can pin clinically significant mood cycles down before they proliferate into permanent or catastrophic problems. Substance abuse is an obvious start.

Chances are, the drinking is for some reason. Perpetual inebriation doesn’t just happen accidentally.

Any substance abuse recovery will benefit from asking the question “why did I use”. Then unraveling the answer constructively/professionally. The impetus isn’t always simple neglect or selfish desire to be high. Sometimes, it’s (trying to) medicate underlying madness. While unknowingly making the problems much worse.

I am not an expert. This is not medical advice.

Read Also

Recent Posts

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *